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The water and air seem to be the same temperature in my lungs and on my feet, but the wave breaks in my eyes are not the same as what my camera sees. I tried to capture the waves breaking behind the breakwaters, for the wind is north, northwest again. Sleepless means I pulled on clothes and dragged my phone down to the ocean in case I saw something. ![]() Neighbors avoid neighbors because it’s a hallowed time, this silent, molten rising. BREAKWATERS UNOBTAINIUM FREEDogs on leashes because they are naughty, dogs running free because they obey. The sun was still below the rim of the teacup but you can tell where he will rise by the intensity of the light. I picked up plastic bags and threw them away, wondering how anyone could still be using these things. I pulled on leggings and went outside, felt the air and realized I’d need a warmer shirt so I pulled on the flannel I keep hanging on my chair and took a walk, barefoot, braving the woodshavings and other ridiculous stuff that accumulates on the balcony. BREAKWATERS UNOBTAINIUM FULLSleepless means I can tell the time and weather by the sky as I lay prone looking out my bedroom window, heartburn burning, and this morning the birds were full up and at ’em. Sleepless means I heard your fireworks at 10:30 but didn’t look out the window to see I was reading, and I’m sure you’ll forgive me. BREAKWATERS UNOBTAINIUM MOVIEI see you come home to greet your cat on the windowsill, or sliding in and putting on the tube, a movie that emanates from your window, some kind of drama with raised voices that calls me to come and make sure everything’s all right. I see you in uniform heading out for the day. ![]() I’m awake when you’re getting home from a long night out. Sleepless means I’m up at all hours, I sleep at strange hours, I write and walk and eat and drive at strange hours, not avoiding people necessarily, but it happens and I like it. I began writing a little thing comparing nights and beds and trees and leaves but I didn’t get up to write it down, naturally. I started writing something in my head that night, something about my other bed where blunt leaves nod and toss not so far from my window in the wind, a bed that squeaks horrendously if I move my head or blink or think. They know who they are and where they’re going, but it’s all just invisible sounds to a woman trying to stop her mind from thinking and find her way into anesthetic sleep after a long, good day. Sleepless means I slept in your bed, eventually, studying the cottage paint pale in the moonlight until I could finally rest. I listened to trucks and cars and motorcycles traveling a dark road at a strange hour of the night. *fades to black, “Mama Said Knock You Out” playing tinny in the background* Awake Meanwhile, I shall assume the mantle of Norn (that’s Norn with the capital N, thank you, not the lowly lowercase norns who are honorable mention wannabes) and see what I do with you. I DNG one flying rats F about anything at all today, and by golly we’ll see if I still feel the same tomorrow. She’s on her own, man, I mean it was her idea to cross there in the first place. Today I DNGAF about clean air or water, healthcare for all, dismantling of nuclear weapons, peaceful resolutions to all conflicts, climate change, tolerance, religion, race, class, gender, puppies, kittens, a living wage, Neil deGrasse Tyson’s tweets, self help, self care, self-cleaning ovens, or helping a little old lady across the street. Web surfing for news and writing! No, that’s not it, but I like that quite a lot. BREAKWATERS UNOBTAINIUM HOW TOPerhaps I spend too much time thinking about how to fix myself and fix the world while I’m at it, and I need to spend more time doing what I love doing: Complaining! No, that’s not it, but damn I’m good at it. Since giving myself permission to NGAF, my pen has not stopped inking. I’ve pulled the sunglasses off to walk the world in a carefree way, smiling as I go, content that I DNGAF. I am in official IDGAF mode, and it’s been wonderful. Look it up if you don’t know what it means. ![]()
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